75Hard Week #4: Self Love By: Erin Suarez
Let’s chitchat about a huge (HUGE) predictor of success in reaching our goals.
self-love /ˈˌself ˈləv/
noun - regard for one's own well-being and happiness
How does that definition sit with you? I believe that self-reflection is such an important part of self-love, so reflect personally on “Mr. Webster’s” definition of self-love for a quick moment.
Self-love may mean something different to each and every one of us. If you are anything like me, you give a lot of yourself to your work, to your family, your friends. We work hard and love hard, am I right?! But when it comes to ourselves, often self-love falls short, but it is equally important.
Let’s address the idea of self-love as it applies to your goals though. We have all had tough days/weeks/months (ok, YEARS, thanks 2020), where you’ve felt like you needed or “earned” that glass of wine, or that night out with the guys, or grabbing takeout instead of cooking because work+kids+quarantine, oh my!
My question (only for self-reflection purposes) is are you possibly confusing the idea of self-love with justification? Are you using self-love as an excuse when you get uncomfortable? Or tired? Or your emotions take over and you lose sight of your goals?
There’s a quote that pops into my mind and really resonates with me and I think it is appropriate to share.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
To me, this means do I just “wish” to be (insert YOUR wish), or does my wish mean enough to me to stay the course, to plan to succeed and to accomplish my GOAL. This is regardless of how I’m feeling in the moments of life that often distract me, regardless of time and regardless of what’s going on around me.
This is how we achieve goals. We make time for what’s important to us, and you better believe in your heart that YOUR goals are important. Starting to work towards a goal and then giving up on yourself in moments of weakness is NOT self-love (and I say this with the kindest of intentions). If you’re giving up on your goals, or on yourself, it’s time to redefine self-love.
Creating healthy habits that help you define self-love is a great place to start and I’m going to share just a few of my personal habits that I’ve adopted in my personal life.
Don’t worry about others' opinions (you have your goals and they do not need approval of anyone, but you). Don’t be fearful to let go of toxic relationships (does someone repeatedly stand in your way of achieving your goals, or cloud your mindset? This is not a healthy relationship). Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself (place the accountability on YOU, the only person you can control. You’re in charge of your own success - or failure. Extreme ownership in the finest).
These are easier said than done, but through self reflection, easy to identify what may be keeping you from your goals. Just a starting point, and we would LOVE to hear your habits for defining self-love in your own personal life! DM us and share!